Life is movement, change, flow. As living things, we crave it.
There are many types of flow, some more real, some less.
Consumption creates unreal flows. Buying things, using substances — both create flows, feelings of change, but unsustainably. As motion, they are withdrawals, putting you into deeper into emotional and spiritual debt.
Art creates real flows. Like consumption, artistic creation is a solitary act, but unlike consumption, it does not leave you in spiritual debt. Creation is a motion of the self against the self, adding but not removing.
Friendship creates real flows. The company of another person — as real and as unique as you — is beautiful and terrifying. It is the motion of self against other, unknowable and unpredictable and uncontrollable before the moment.
Living alone in an empty house, there is lots of time to experiment with flow.
Idle anxious moments of online shopping, pointless drinking, wanting to feel something and wanting it to come easy, be safe — but knowing it means nothing.
More substantial moments of making music, writing prose, feeling the real flow that never comes without struggle, fear, risk — but leads to growth.
The best moments are with others, hosting friends and family. Trying to see and hoping to be seen. The quiet moments, sitting with the hugeness of another person, open to whatever comes.